So a certain friend of mine, TKO, recommended that I go to the Full Moon Party that Koh Samui is famous for — there happened to be one on Christmas night. I told him that I’m not a raver anymore — he replied that he isn’t either but went anyway, and that I had to try it. Since I’m all for new experiences this trip, I was game.

I had NOOOOO idea it would be THAT rowdy.

First of all, when people said that Koh Samui was “touristy”, I thought that they meant that it was like “Hawaii beaches and hotels” kind of touristy, not like “MTV/Cancun Spring Break!!!! PARTY-PARTY-PARTY WOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!” -kind of touristy.

(IN GENERAL — I’ve come to realize that traveling means a lot of different things to different people. Most of the people that I meet are in their mid 20’s and want to do the rowdy kind of partying at the hostels I stay at. Those types like the stuff I’m not into (Koh Samui and all-night bar areas like Khao San Road), and I like the stuff  — the “too slow” stuff — that’s boring for them (like going to peaceful, beautiful areas like Kanchanaburi). I’ve always thought that when people go to another country, they at least partially want to learn about the country and the culture that they are going to visit. But what I’ve come to realize is that some tourists see traveling less as a “broadening horizons” experience and more of a “let’s party in an exotic locale and have the  locals serve us” experience, which is pretty wack on so many levels. It also explains the proliferation of Western food restaurants in those areas — they want to have certain comforts of home while taking advantage of the “great resources ” that their host  country provides them (warm weather, gorgeous beaches, cheap booze, less strict laws, no parents, all night partying, etc.))

ANYWAY…on with the story.

Actually, f*ck the story, there’s not much to tell. All I can say is: check out the photos, they speak for themselves (they will be posted soon)…

I have to say that while the party was not my steeeez for sure, it was very amusing and entertaining — in an “I’m having a very interesting cultural experience” kind of way. It was def something to experience…although it was also mighty fucked up in some ways…

My Top 10 highlights from the night:

1) Taking a catamaran speed boat at 11 pm with 30 other Full Moon pre-partyers and getting ABSOLUTELY drenched in sea water as our boat hit wave after wave, catapulting salt water into the air and on-top of our heads. And why was I sitting next to the only other Asian girl on the boat? Racists. (HA!)

2) Landing in the biggest tourist town I’ve ever seen, Hat Mui, on Koh Pha-Ngan Island — the streets are lined with stores carrying bad T-shirts in English and drink stands with buckets (literally – sand pails) of alcohol for people to purchase.

3) Watching guys (and kids) do fire dancing and almost setting tourists on fire near the edge of the waves on the beach.

4) Getting painted in glow in the dark paint by some guy that had a hard time drawing a pony. The paint didn’t  come off my arm for a few days. Sounds lovely and toxic, doesn’t it.

5) Walking by lots and lots and lots of people drinking and making out. Some guy tried to make out with my forehead when I passed him by; luckily the girl he was dancing with pulled him away before I slapped him.

6) Why don’t tourists drink Jameson? All they had was rum and vodka like we were in the club.

7) Dancing with random girls and guys. It’s a very social scene. In one moment you’re dancing by yourself; in the next moment some Eurotrash dude is booty bumping you and undoing the bow on your bikini top. The girl next to me was this little Asian girl that was dancing with me and all the girls around us. She was like, “Are you having a good time?!”  I must have been lookin real serious again.

8) Calling my friends and family to wish them a Merry Christmas at midnight. 12 am is 9 am in the Bay. Had to wish everyone a happy holiday before I could no longer string words together in a sentence.

9) Watching drunk European women fondle the hot Thai bartenders. The guys are topless and tattooed. The women are reaaaallllyyyy drunk and uh…frisky. Great mix. One of the ones (in the photo) told me that I was beautiful and that she loved me. I looked like a sopping wet GI Jane at this point, so you know she was pretty gone…

10) Not getting back to my hostel til 5 am because some drunk German guy jumped in the boat back to Koh Samui and broke his nose. Oh it doesn’t get any better, does it? At 3 am I’m on the docks waiting desperately to go back and sleep in my bed. 4 am rolls around and we all finally load into the boat, with most passengers being too wasted to stand up at all. One brilliant and very tall guy jumped from the dock into the boat, went face-first into the floor, and stayed there badly bleeding until the crew and the passengers finally decide to haul him back to the dock so that he can seek medical assistance. All i can see is blood pouring down the front of the boat. I am definitely done with rowdy-ass party tourists at this point.

Being 33 (old as dirt) and all, this was a very entertaining but very frightening experience.

But by now, I’m pretty done-done with Koh Samui. Off to see monk Tan Thien in Kanchanaburi soon!

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